Well, if that's the way you want it.
The bank robber zips down the street at a nice sedate five mph over the limit as two squad cars pull up in front of the bank with their lights flashing and sirens blaring. The officers dash into the bank, grab Brain-Dead Boy, and shuffle him into the car while explaining his Miranda rights at 78 RPM.
Officer O'Malley becomes a 2 day sensation for foiling the daring daylight robbery of the Littel Trust Bank. He is replaced by a dog that carried it's master's favorite teddy bear out of a burning house, while leaving behind its young master.
The red haired teller quits her job at the bank and becomes a mud wrestler. When the bank begs her to return, she replies "What, and leave show business?"
At the trial, the tellers all swear that they saw Brain-Dead Boy in the bank, and the bank officer swears that Brain-Dead Boy was stepping up to help his accomplice carry off the money when Officer O'Malley interrupted the crime.
Brain-Dead Boy is sentenced to 30 years to life, and is out on parole in 6 months.
How can you stand being such a cynic?
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