Officer O'Malley Brushes Off Brain-Dead Boy

Brain-Dead Boy

Adventure 1

Officer O'Malley looks at Brain-Dead Boy as if he had just come from another planet. "Faith, if you aren't the most persistent little guttersnipe in this whole town. Begone with you before I decide to be writing you a ticket for littering."

Brain-Dead Boy looks at Officer O'Malley, confused. "Don't you mean loitering? Littering is dropping trash on the sidewalks."

"And you'd be telling me what the law is, would you. Well, when I sees trash like you on the sidewalk, I thinks it's littering, and I thinks it's a crime. Here I am, an officer of the law, engaged in my duties and writing parking tickets, and you keep harping on some bank robbery going on on my very beat.

"You there," Officer O'Malley grabs a burly man in a blue windbreaker who is backing out of the Littel Trust Bank with a pistol in one hand and a roll of quarters in the other. "What would you be thinking of a young scalawag who keeps telling me that there's someone robbing the bank!"

The bank robber turns and suddenly sees Officer O'Malley. He stuffs the pistol in his pocket, and tries to look nonchalant. This is difficult when you are wearing a ski mask.

"Umm," the bank robber stutters, "I'd say... I'd say... Umm. Well, it doesn't make sense, does it. I mean what are the odds on a bank being robbed twice in one day? Especially such a small bank as the Littel Trust. They only have one roll of quarters at some tellers." He holds out the other hand showing the roll of quarters.

"Faith, and it's right you are. You hear that you scalawag, even this obvious felon knows that nobody would rob the Littel Trust."

"Not Today, anyhow" the robber interjects.

"Faith, and its right you are again. Now, a roll of quarters is ten dollars, and the parking ticket I'm writing you is fifteen. So, if you'll give me the quarters and another five dollars, I'll not be giving you another ticket while you go and get gas for your jalopy. And you'd best be getting a five gallons, because it will take you that much gas to be getting completely out of town, which is where I'd be advising you to be."

The robber nods dumbly, digs in his pockets and digs out three one dollar bills, and a pocket full of change. Officer O'Malley counts the change, and returns a nickel to the robber who promptly drops in on the sidewalk.

"Faith, and that's the last of your money, is it not? I do hope that you be carrying a gas credit card or two."

The robber nods and Officer O'Malley shoos him on his way.

Officer O'Malley points at the nickel on the sidewalk. "And, are you going to be leaving that sit there?" he asks Brain-Dead Boy.


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